What a child needs is what every human being needs and wants. Safety, love and emotional connection. Children develop well in a safe environment, where available parents give undivided attention and become secure attachment figures by simply being there.
Offering predictability and encouraging children to do what they can do when they can, allowing space for movement, time for free uninterrupted play and taking time to explain them even the most basic caregiving routines like changing diapers and bathing are just a few of the blocks that build a confident child that loves to collaborate and thrives in childhood and adulthood. (RIE parenting)
On the opposite pole, some behaviors damage personality for life. They create patterns that need endless hours of healing and awareness to come back to the positive birth wiring and original programming. Those mostly become visible during adulthood and often affect when in interaction with another close person, likely your partner. Here are 10 of the most obvious behaviors affecting the way you love as an adult
As parents we rarely do things with a negative intention with regards to our children. Yet, we may overlook the subtle messages we send. If a child feels unloved or unworthy of love, he will not love himself either, thus constantly searching for validation, affection and lacking resources to give and offer love and emotions to another one.
The difficulty in a couple comes when child-like behaviors are unconsciously replicated to obtain love. Demanding attention and praise, over-pleasing, requesting acknowledgement for material achievement are just a few behaviors that confuse partners, escalate criticism and blame and reinforce ”not enough” feelings.
As a parent, you can still make a difference. As an adult, the solution is to stop searching outside of you. The key lies within you and comes with self-esteem and self-love.
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